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10 Best Jokes Heard at Conferences

10 Best Jokes Heard at Conferences

At our conferences, telling a good joke is not frowned upon. Humor is essential during business meetings, just as it is in the workplace. How can judicious use of jokes add value to your conference experience?

Jokes help us to feel more comfortable and productive. A good laugh also has health benefits stimulating our heart and lungs or blood flow. Extra endorphins released from your brain can help you cope with a stressful time at work or strengthen some of the business bonds that have been established.

We think that a good joke or a compelling story can create a common ground and lessen the perceived differences between people. 

Here are some jokes that the Vonlanthen team has gathered over the years and believe that they will lighten your today's mood as it helped create a better atmosphere for our summit and conference attendees.

2. Before coming here tonight I was discussing my talk with my wife and she said to me:

    Don’t try to be too charming, too witty or too intellectual. Just be yourself.

3. A man walks into a bank in New York City and asks for the loan officer. The man says he is going to Europe on business for two weeks and needs to borrow $5,000.

The loan officer says the bank will need some kind of security for such a loan, so the man hands over the keys and documents of a new Ferrari, parked on the street in front of the bank. Everything checks out and the bank agrees to accept the car as collateral for the loan. An employee drives the Ferrari into the bank’s underground garage and parks it there.

Two weeks later, the man returns and repays the $5,000, plus interest, which is $15.41. The loan officer says: “We are very happy to have had your business and this transaction has worked out very nicely, but we are a little puzzled. While you were away, we checked you out and found that you are a rich man. You have a good-sized house in upstate New York, a sizeable equity portfolio, and no debt at all. We are curious as to why you would bother to borrow $5,000?”

The man replied: “Where else in New York City can I park my car for two weeks for $15!”

5. Can February March? No, but April May!

6. What do you call a quick video-conference at the Mazda factory?

    A zoom-zoom zoom Zoom.

7. I saw a famous astrobiologist at a conference and asked what in particular he was studying. 

    He said: “Nothing at the moment, but we’re working on that.

9. What did the proton tell the electron?

   Don’t be so negative!